Saturday, September 18, 2010

here I sit...

eating way too many red vines and sniffing a dryer sheet thinking about things to come and wondering what in the heck to do. I may have to pause and throw up half of these red vines but for right now- it's worth it. here's my dilemma: with both my boys I had an epidural during labor. I loved it. Sure they stick a giant needle in your back but after that part you're pain free my friends. ***if it works- if they get it into the right place*** For some it doesn't work and I've always felt bad for those ladies. The dilemma is that with gabe I made it to a 9 before having an epidural (if you don't know what that means you may not want to read the rest of this post because it's probably not pertinent info...) and now I'm wondering: "should I have just gone all the way??? could I have gone all the way???"
Several of my friends have used a "newish" method to child birth called hypno-birthing and swear by it. yeah. hypnosis. as in surgical hypnosis so you don't feel any pain but you could undergo serious surgery without any anethetics. Here's the jist of it- you're supposed to be able to go into deep relaxation/hypnosis to be able to deal with the pain as it comes. It also goes into detail about making sure you're dealing with any FEARS of parts of labor and delivery or the whole thing for that matter, and teaches you how to overcome any of those fears. So all in all you should be better equipped to deal with the discomfort of labor, the fear of labor, and the healing process much easier, quicker, and safer. So. Do I try au natural??? I mean I did make it to a stinking 9 before having gabe....and that was without classes. without planning or preparation to not have any meds. Do I get a book from the library on hypnobirthing and go it on my own? or do I pay $300 bucks to take the class with jack and get all their hypnobabies brand info? Or do I just pay $800 bucks and kick back and relax with an epidural???

That being said- we went to a bbq to meet some of the ladies that have done the classes and they all had nothing but good things to say about it. The husbands said things like: "it's the best thing I've ever done in my life. It strengthened our marriage, our communication, and our parenting skills." (I'm not even exagerating that in the slightest- this dude was serious.) The wives loved that it got their spouses so involved in everything, and loved all the techniques they taught, and really said they worked very very well.

the down side: The ladies that we met seemed a bit do I put it lightly??? let me explain: all the new babies got hungry all at the same time at this bbq and what did all these hypno mom's do? whipped out their boobs and stuck a kid to it. No covers. No going off alone someplace for privacy. No "are you comfortable if I whip my boob out in front of you while we're talking??" One lady even said as she was undressing: "it's what they're made for so I don't care who sees. they're not meant for the satisfaction of men." There was even a circle of mom's on the grass that were completely exposed and feeding kids and totally okay with it even though there were other families, dads, children running all around them. We were sharing a pavillion with a hispanic family celebrating a child's 3rd birthday for crying out loud.

Uh. HELLLLLOOOO?!?!? Duh it's what they're made for. BUT I highly doubt that as we teach our daughters modesty there's a clause that says "if there's a baby attached it's okay to have your hooters out in public." I doubt that the lord that made us women and men thinks it's okay to show it off because "it's natural- it's the way it's supposed to be"... Cover up ladies! Just because our bodies are beautiful doesn't mean you get to give up on modesty altogether while nursing your children.

We left when all the infants started crying for food and saw what all the ladies were doing-or not covering up I should say.

So do you see why I am scared to sign up for a class and pay $300 bucks?? They're obviously going to try to brain wash me into thinking that hangin out in public is okay as long as 50% of the population has them. no. I don't really think that but if that's the only type of women that are taking this class then I don't know if I can handle it. I am perfectly happy being a strong, opinionated woman, that will stand by what I'm comfortable with. I'm open to new ideas, I'll listen and try to wrap my head around it even. But don't under any circumstances try to convince my that nursing in public without trying to cover up at all is proof that you love your children more than I love mine. I happened to really enjoy being able to let jack get that "bonding" time with the kids! I happened to enjoy being able to feed my kids any where any time and not worry about whether or not I was being modest. I love the idea of nursing in the privacy of your own home, or car if you're out and about-it's the crazy ladies out there that are so gung ho about it that pushes me away. It's the ones that say: "cows feed their young without covering up- so why should I." *seriously a lady said that on a message board about nursing...* I'm also sure that cows take dumps in a feild and they're ANIMALS not people. Why would I want anything to do with being even remotely similar to a milking cow??? Can someone explain this to me??? Like I said- I'm totally up for listening- as long as all breasts involved are covered safe and sound.

so what do I do?

A: take the classes that attract the women that think they've got udders and shouldn't have to cover up?

B: Read the book myself???

C: or get the epidural again only earlier on in labor and watch a nice movie while my body does all the hard work?


ideas? please tell me! email me if you have so many good suggestions it'd be weird to just post as a comment- just tell me you need my address and I'll send it to you.


Emily said...

HAHA!!! Amanda, I love you!! :)

I say, sure, why not borrow the book and read up on it and be prepared for an unmedicated birth? No harm done!
Maybe even PLAN for one, if you'd like (heck, if you've made it unmedicated, to a 9, and you still have the desire to try it all the way, then I say GO FOR IT!) then, if anything unexpected happens, like it's worse labor than Gabe's, you aren't feeling well than day - whatever - if you feel like you want that epidural when the time comes, you can have that too! And the best part is, you haven't spent all that dough to have to waste it in the end!
Honestly, you've already almost done it, I think you totally COULD do it, and you don't need the $300 to tell you you can! :)

P.S - When, for the love, are you finding out the gender of this wee babe?!?! I'm dying of suspense!! :)

Aubrey said...

I agree! Borrow the book, read, & pray about it.
I love this post because this is EXACTLY how I feel. I get really upset with people that act that way and think that no one should be offended.
Besides... I can think of something else that is even more natural than nursing and I DEFINITELY won't be doing THAT in public!! Just because it's natural doesn't mean it's appropriate to share with the world.
Sounds like you are on the right track. Good luck!

Holli said...

Oh Amanda.:) It's a tough decision for sure! Obviously in the end it's up to you, but I would say read the book, or take a birthing class, and if you get to a point where you feel you need the epidural, go for it. Remember, you aren't committed to anything- it can change in a second and they have to listen to you!:)

I am all for epidurals. Mateo came so fast that the epidural didn't even kick in completely until he was on his way out- so I have wondered if I would have made it all the way. But then they had to stitch me up, and all the after birth pains... so I was grateful for the epidural. Best money I've ever spent. :) And honestly, I don't think it makes you any less of a woman to have an epidural. I get really upset when people act like they're better than me. I am sure I could handle the pain, I just don't want to. :)

And while I am a breast feeding advocate, I think it is COMPLETELY inappropriate to not cover yourself up when you're feeding in public. It's one thing if you're in your own home, but ANYWHERE outside of your home is a completely different story. They're babies. They don't care if they are covered with a blanket to eat. Plus, it's not like they're suffocating or anything. It isn't socially acceptable to whip your breast out for all to see. I would be TICKED if a woman ever did that in front of my husband or my children. Cover up for pete's sake!

Anonymous said...

I really couldnt tell you whether or not to get the epidural since I have to have c sections every time I have a child. Sorry no help there. But I agree that you should at least read the book and pray. If it doesnt work out, no harm no foul.
Brestfeeding is suppose to be a bond between mother and child, so I dont understand why anyone would want to share that with the world. Didnt a woman get a ticket or something like that for indecent exposure for breastfeeding in public like that? Anyway I definitely think it should be a cover up thing.

sweets said...

you know how i feel. with nathenale i was at a 9 so with tif i thought let try to go all the way and i did. she didnt give me much choice but i would do that way agen. recovery is great and the excpirence is to. well worth it.

Xochi said...

THat is so funny! I totally agree, I am all for breast feeding babies, of course, but please not in public! -my vote is to read the book yourself. Have a plan that you will try as hard as you can with the techniques you teach yourself; and if you don't make it all the way without an epidural it's ok. Since this might be your last child I don't think you'd want to spend that much money and then have an emergancy c section and not even have a chance to use it. (not that you would, I am just saying what if you couldn't even use the techniques). Don't be down on yourself if you don't go the whole way without one. You will have given birth to an adorable baby which that in itself is a miracle. I went to a 7 without an epidural and am really proud of myself and happy about it. I hope that you will be able to decide what will work best for you and your family. Good luck in deciding!

The Larsens