Larsen Update

Time for another Larsen Family Update :)

We would much prefer to be able to call each and every one of you to share this information personally but there just simply isn't enough time in the day to make that happen. We're grateful to be able to share all this with everyone through email and hope that you forgive us if it isn't your favorite way to find out about things.

Two years ago when we had Corban evaluated at The Children's Center for ADHD we also followed up by having Gabe evaluated. When Gabe was evaluated he tested positive for ADHD as well as being right under the line indicating the possibility of having an Autism Spectrum Disorder. We knew that we would likely have to revisit that evaluation a little later to see if it was still close to an Autism diagnosis or if he was moving away from that line. We have done a second evaluation with The Children's Center and it is now clear that Gabe does in fact have Autism in addition to ADHD. He is no longer close to the line for Autism Spectrum Disorders, he is well above the line into the Autism Spectrum.

We are not worried or scared about this diagnosis, in fact we are somewhat comforted by the fact that we now have another piece to the puzzle and more information to help us be the best parents we can be. We are learning more and more about ways we can encourage him in his social abilities as well as his academic endeavors. We love that this diagnosis doesn't change who Gabe is or how much he is loved, but gives us a better understanding of how he is functioning and what some of his strengths and weaknesses may be throughout his life.

Analogy to understanding Autism:
by Mirana Steffen

"Say you want to watch a movie. You need a DVD player, TV, and the red/white/yellow cable. If you get all of the colors put in the right place, you will see and hear your movie. If you don't get them in the right place, you may see the picture but not hear it or hear it but not see it. You may not see or hear anything, rather, get a low hum. You may see and hear everything, but with mild interference because the cords need to simply be tightened.
Either way, all of the equipment for success is there. There is NOTHING missing. Someone with an *ASD has everything they need to be successful, but their "cables" may not be coded "correctly." It's our job as parents, family members, friends, educators, and a community at large, to help our ASD buddies find their Picture, no matter what it may look like to you and me."
*ASD=Autism Spectrum Disorder

There are many resources online to learn more about Autism as well as ADHD. We're happy to share new information as we learn more about these two topics in an effort to help others understand what our children are working with. We'll share a few links in this email as well as some excerpts from an informational packet "Autism Speaks 100 day kit" with notes about Gabe in a bold and colored text.

Feel free to read/skim as far as you'd like or as little as you'd like. We just wanted to provide some basics about this new diagnosis for those that would like to learn more.



Information about ADHD:
www.chadd.com
www.additudemag.com
www.cdc.gov

Excellent Book that covers a multitude of helpful topics for any child:
Square Peg: my story and what it means for raising innovators, visionaries, and out of the box thinkers by L. Todd Rose

Information about Autism:
www.Autismspeaks.org
www.Autismsupportnetwork.com
www.cdc.gov

Autism Speaks 100 Day kit can be downloaded for free here in it's entirety: http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/tool-kits/100-day-kit

Autism Speaks 100 day kit excerpts:


Why does my child need a diagnosis?
There are however, several reasons having a diagnosis is important for your child. A thorough and detailed diagnosis provides important information about your child’s behavior and development. It can help create a road map for treatment, by identifying your child’s specific strengths and challenges and providing useful information about which needs and skills should be targeted for effective intervention. A diagnosis is often required to access autism specific services through early intervention programs or your local school district.

While the causes of autism are complex, it is clear that it is not caused by bad parenting. Dr. Leo Kanner, the psychiatrist who first described autism as a unique condition in 1943, believed that it was caused by cold, unloving mothers. Bruno Bettelheim, a renowned professor of child development perpetuated this misinterpretation of autism. Their promotion of the idea that unloving mothers caused their children’s autism created a generation of parents who carried the tremendous burden of guilt for their children’s disability. In the 1960s and 70s, Dr. Bernard Rimland, the father of a son with autism, who later founded the Autism Society of America and the Autism Research Institute, helped the medical community understand that autism is a biological disorder, and is not caused by cold parents.

Autism affects the way your child perceives the world and makes communication and social interaction difficult. Gabe has issues with making/keeping friends. Even at the young age of 3 and 4 other kids notice that he's different in the way he plays and most shy away from him. When he does invite someone into his world he gets easily frustrated if they don't "pretend the right way". He assumes that everyone has the same thoughts about how to pretend so we're working on trying to help him explain more of how he wants us to pretend with him as we play. We have also been trying to schedule play dates often in places where it's a neutral ground so neither party feels as though it is "their turf". He may also have repetitive behaviors or intense interests. Symptoms and their severity are different for each child in each of the affected areas (Communication, Social Interaction, and Repetitive Behaviors). Your child may not have the same symptoms and may seem very different from another child with the same diagnosis.

Although autism is usually a life-long condition, the symptoms of autism can change over time. The long term outcome is highly variable. Some children lose their diagnosis over time, while others remain severely affected. Many have normal cognitive skills, despite challenges in social and language abilities. Most individuals with autism develop speech and learn to communicate with others. Early intervention can make extraordinary differences in your child’s development. How your child is functioning now may be very different from how he or she will function later on in life.

Social Difficulties
Children with autism are also slower in learning to interpret what others are thinking and feeling. Subtle social cues such as a smile, a wave, or a grimace may have little meaning to a child with autism. To a child who misses these cues, "Come here" may always mean the same thing, whether the speaker is smiling and extending her arms for a hug, or frowning and planting her fists on her hips. Without the ability to interpret gestures and facial expressions, the social world may seem bewildering. To compound the problem, people with autism have difficulty seeing things from another person’s perspective. Most five-year-olds understand that other people have thoughts, feelings, and goals that are different from their own. A child with autism may lack such understanding. This inability leaves them unable to predict or understand other people’s actions.

Although not universal, it is common for people with autism to have difficulty regulating their emotions. This can take the form of "immature" behavior such as crying in class, or verbal outbursts that seem inappropriate to those around them. Sometimes they may be disruptive and physically aggressive, making social relationships even more difficult. They have a tendency to "lose control", particularly when they’re in a strange or overwhelming environment, or when they are angry or frustrated. At times, they may break things, attack others, or hurt themselves. In their frustration, some bang their heads, pull their hair or bite their arms. We've been blessed that Gabe doesn't use self harm, however, many times during a frustrating situation he will lash out physically by throwing a toy, or hitting whoever he feels is responsible for his frustration. This happens with regular kids as well, however it takes much much much longer for a child with Autism and/or ADHD to learn to Stop. Think. THEN Act because their brain just functions on a "Ready Fire Aim" mindset naturally. It involves many role playing situations and many teaching moments after accidents happen and just when you think they're getting it you start over at square one after some big explosive set back. We are also still working with Corban on this same issue daily. The violence that they exhibit is something we deal with on a daily basis and stress about more than any other aspect of these two disorders. Support, encouragement, and non-jugemental comfort in this area is appreciated more than we can ever express.

Communication Difficulties
By age three, most children have passed predictable milestones on the path to learning language; one of the earliest is babbling. By the first birthday, a typical toddler says a word or two, turns and looks when he hears his name, points when he wants a toy, and when offered something distasteful, makes it clear that the answer is "no". Although a minority of people with autism doesn’t use speech, the large majority develops spoken language, and all eventually learn to communicate in some way. Most infants who later show signs of autism "coo" and babble during the first few months of life, but over time, they stop. Others may be delayed, developing language as late as age five to nine. Some children may learn to use communication systems such as pictures or sign language. Children with autism who do speak often use language in unusual ways. Gabe never had delays in his early speech-He has always had quite a sizable vocabulary for his age. He does however use language in unique ways as well as stuttering quite often, or repeating the same portion of a sentance over and over again. They seem unable to combine words into meaningful sentences. Some speak only single words, while others repeat the same phrase over and over. They may repeat or "parrot" what they hear, a condition called echolalia. Although many children with autism go through a stage where they repeat what they hear, it normally passes by the time they turn three. Some children with autism who are only mildly affected may exhibit slight delays in language, or even seem to have precocious language and unusually large vocabularies, but still have great difficulty in sustaining a conversation. The "give and take" of normal conversations may be hard, but they may often carry on a monologue on a favorite subject, giving others little opportunity to comment. Gabe frequently talks "at people" he struggles a great deal with being able to carry on a conversation in a back and forth manner. Another common difficulty is the inability to understand body language, tone of voice, or "phrases of speech." For example, someone with autism might interpret a sarcastic expression such as "Oh, that’s just great" as meaning it really IS great. It can be challenging sometimes for others to understand what children with autism are saying, as well as what their body language means. Facial expressions, movements, and gestures may not match what they are saying. Also their tone of voice may fail to reflect their feelings. They may use a high-pitched, sing-song, or flat, robot-like voice. Gabe speaks in different voices usually around 50-70% of the day. His favorites are "a kitty voice" and a "robot voice". We are fortunate that he is kind enough to "speak in a Gabe voice" when we request it in situations where we need to know that he's listening to instructions about safety or directions to what we need him to do. Some children with relatively good language skills speak like little adults, failing to pick up on the "kid-speak" that is common in their peers. Gabe (while playing with a dinosaur who was consuming an action figure) yelled at me in a tortured guy voice: "help me help me!! get me out of this monstrosity!!!" Gabe's verbal skills are a great blessing and source of many many laughs throughout the day to say the least. Without meaningful gestures or the language to ask for things, people with autism have difficulty letting others know what they need. As a result, they may simply scream or grab what they want. Fortunately, children with autism can be taught to communicate in more appropriate way.

Repetative Behaviors
Although children with autism usually appear physically normal, odd repetitive motions may set them apart from other children. These behaviors might be extreme and highly apparent or more subtle. Some children and older individuals with autism repeatedly flap their arms or walk on their toes. Gabe flaps his hands frequently when he gets excited or when he is playing. Some suddenly freeze in a position. As children, individuals with autism might spend hours lining up their cars and trains in a certain way, rather than using them for pretend play. Gabe lines up his toys in many different ways "in movies" he does have an extremely hard time if someone disturbs his movie guys but he is learning to take a deep breath and use his words instead of using a physical response like hitting. If someone moves one of the toys, the children may become tremendously upset. Many children with autism need and demand absolute consistency in their environment. A slight change in routines, such as eating a meal, getting dressed, taking a bath, and going to school at a certain time or by the same route, can be extremely stressful. Repetitive behavior sometimes takes the form of a persistent, intense preoccupation. These strong interests may be unusual because of their content (e.g. fans or toilets) or because of the intensity of the interest (e.g. extremely detailed information about Thomas the Tank Engine). For example, a child with autism might be obsessed with learning all about vacuum cleaners, train schedules, or lighthouses. Often older children with autism have a great interest in numbers/ letters, symbols, dates or science topics.

Just as individuals with autism have a variety of difficulties, they also have some distinctive strengths. Some of the strengths that individuals with autism have may include:  Ability to understand concrete concepts, rules and sequences

 Strong long term memory skills Gabe

 Math skills

 Computer skills

 Musical ability Gabe

 Artistic ability

 Ability to think in a visual way Gabe

 Ability to decode written language at an early age (This ability is called

Hyperlexia. Some children with autism can decode written language earlier than they can comprehend written language.)
 Honesty – sometimes to a fault

 Ability to be extremely focused – if they are working on a preferred activity Gabe has this ability and it is also a symptom of ADHD- called Hyperfocusing. This can be a HUGE help or a HUGE setback. Example: If a child is hyperfocusing on completing an art project it's a good thing right? until art time is over and they need to transition to a different subject and can't hear the teacher say that art time is over because they're focusing so intently on the art project.

 Excellent sense of direction Gabe can become concerned if we use a different route to drive somewhere so we've been working on making small deviations (while talking him through it) from the normal ways we drive to expose him to the idea that it's alright to take a different way- we won't get lost.

"How can my child have Autism when he seems so smart?"From Does My Child Have Autism? by Wendy Stone

Right now you might be thinking about all the things your child with autism learned at a much younger age than other children you know. And yes, you are right: there are also things that children with autism learn on their own much faster than their typically developing peers or siblings. For example, they can be very good at learning to pick out their favorite DVD from a stack, even when it’s not in its case. They may learn at a very young age how to operate the remote controls to the TV and DVD player so that they can rewind their videos to their favorite parts (or fast forward through the parts they don’t like). They can be very creative in figuring out ways to climb up on the counter to reach a cabinet that has their favorite cereal, or even how to use the key to unlock the dead bolt on the back door so they can go outside to play on the swing. Clearly, these are not behaviors that you would even think about trying to teach a two-year-old child. And yet some children with autism somehow manage to acquire these skills on their own. How can we understand this inconsistency between the things children with autism do and don’t learn? How can a child who can’t put different shapes into a shape sorter learn to turn on the TV and DVD player, put a DVD in, and push the play button? How can a child who can’t understand a simple direction like "get your coat" figure out how to unlock a door to get outside? We've run into this issue frequently at our house. Many of you who are "facebook friends" have seen posts about how Gabe escapes into the snow in barefeet so he can go see the chickens in just the amount of time for a mommy to take a potty break. Or escape to tell a neighbor hi. Or escape to go swing. Or escape to just enjoy the "nice fresh air". We installed chain locks on our doors in hopes that would deter him however he just started using toys as tools to unlock the chain and escape anyway. We're still working on coming up with a Gabe proof door lock. Don't get us wrong- we don't want our home to be a prison, but we need him to be supervised while he goes on these adventures. Mommy needs potty breaks, Chloe still needs naps, etc. so we can't be outside all the time-even though gabe would probably love to live like a mountain man.

What accounts for this unique learning style? In a word: motivation. We all pay attention better to the things that interest us, so we become much more proficient at learning them. Understanding what is motivating to your child (all children are different) will be one of the keys to increasing their learning and their skills. Your child’s special talents may be part of his unique and inherent learning style and nature. Once again the Hyperfocusing can be a gift or a curse depending on what context it is in. Gabe is motivated by: Kitties, Tigers, Lions, Puppies, Dogs, anything fuzzy/soft really so most animals fall into this category, the outdoors, Chloe, Cherry Tomatoes, Carrots, Swinging, Skylanders, Library books, and many many more "favorites" as he calls them.

We would love to share the whole section entitled: You, Your Family, & Autism with everyone but we're already taking a large portion of your time with everything in this post. If you would take the time to download the kit and read at least that section we would really appreciate it. We love all of you and sincerely appreciate your love and support. Feel free to call or email us with any further questions, comments, or suggestions. Thanks again!

With Love,
The Larsen Family
Jack
Amanda
Corban
Gabe
Chloe
(and baby squatch due in may or june)

How do you know it's ADHD?

I've been asked "how do you know your kids are adhd?" "what do you look for?" etc. So I thought I'd share the parameters that you should use in order to know for yourself if you should be seeking help. I'm sharing the information provided by CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD but first a few notes from me:

First have a thorough health exam to exclude any health conditions that could be causing the symptoms. When reading through this criteria keep in mind that in order to "qualify" as being ADHD you need to have had symptoms for 6 months or longer, they need to affect TWO areas of your life (home, school, social settings, work, etc.) and you need to fit in at least 6 of the 9 criteria for either inattentive or hyperactive or in both areas for combined type. Also the symptoms need to be more frequent or severe when compared with other people the same age. If you're wondering about adult ADHD you need to have had symptoms from childhood.

Also when reading through this criteria it is wise to be as unbiased as possible. Yes we all love our kids. Yes our own children are the cutest children on the planet. Yes our children are the smartest in their class, etc etc etc.... but when filling out something like this you need to think comparatively. You need to be thinking about the fact that- if my child has a disability do I have the guts to get them the help they deserve or do I just sweep it under the rug, hope it goes away, and tell my child to "just work harder"? Our boundless love will not protect them forever if they don't know why they're having to work 10 times harder than everyone else. They will have to work harder but having a diagnosis gives you an EXPLANATION of why they're behaving a certain way NOT AN EXCUSE. It also helps the child to know that they're not dumb, they're not lazy, and they're certainly not a bad kid.

The single most important part of parenting is retaining, nurturing, and growing a wonderful relationship with your children.

Hug your kids. Love them. Even when they're running around crazy and you feel like giving up.

Sincerely,
Amanda

feel free to use this link to access this information yourself.  http://www.help4adhd.org/en/treatment/guides/dsm

Symptoms and Diagnostic Criteria

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The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) is the guide that lays out the criteria to be used by doctors, mental health professionals, and other qualified clinicians when making a diagnosis of ADHD. The most recent edition of the manual is the DSM-IV-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision). The next edition of the manual, DSM-5, was approved by the APA Board of Trustees on December 1, 2012 and is expected to be pushed in spring 2013. See this DSM-5 Fact Sheet on ADHD for upcoming changes
 As with all DSM-IV diagnoses, it is essential first to rule out other conditions that may be the true cause of symptoms. The DSM-IV identifies three sub-types of ADHD, depending on the presence or absence of particular symptoms: Inattentive type, Hyperactive type, and Combined type.  Because everyone shows signs of these behaviors at one time or another, the guidelines for determining whether a person has ADHD are very specific. To be diagnosed with ADHD, individuals must have six of the nine characteristics in either or both DSM-IV categories listed below. In children and teenagers, the symptoms must be more frequent or severe compared to other children the same age. In adults, the symptoms must affect the ability to function in daily life and persist from childhood.  In addition, the behaviors must create significant difficulty in at least two areas of life, such as home, social settings, school, or work. Symptoms must be present for at least six months. Criteria for the three primary subtypes are:  ADHD - Predominantly Inattentive Type

• Fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes.
• Has difficulty sustaining attention.
• Does not appear to listen.
• Struggles to follow through on instructions.
• Has difficulty with organization.
• Avoids or dislikes tasks requiring sustained mental effort.
• Loses things.
• Is easily distracted.
• Is forgetful in daily activities.

ADHD - Predominantly Hyperactive/Impulsive Type

• Fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in chair.
• Has difficulty remaining seated.
• Runs about or climbs excessively.
• Difficulty engaging in activities quietly.
• Acts as if driven by a motor.
• Talks excessively.
• Blurts out answers before questions have been completed.
• Difficulty waiting or taking turns.
• Interrupts or intrudes upon others.

ADHD - Combined Type

• Individual meets both sets of inattention and hyperactive/impulsive criteria.

My heart Aches.

I was able to attend an ADHD symposium on Friday @ UVU. IT. WAS. WONDERFUL. Several times I felt just overwhelmed with emotion to the point of choking back tears! This was a group of hundreds of people all coming together to learn more about a devastatingly hard disability. Wanting to learn more- wanting to help someone in their lives fight this with everything they've got. Some may question my use of the term "devastatingly" in conjunction with ADHD. Here's why I use it that way. It's invisible. It effects their entire life- it doesn't have a cure. All areas of life use some skill that is usually a problem for ADHD kids and adults. Some kids aren't lucky enough to have parents that are willing to go the distance to get them the help they need and deserve. It is the single most studied childhood disorder in the world- there's not a shortage of information.

Many many ADHD children are abused, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Parents telling them that they're stupid for forgetting to turn in an assignment is like telling a diabetic child they're stupid for not processing glucose properly. Seriously.

Patrick McKenna from the Red Green show was the keynote speaker. He was diagnosed 2 years ago on a documentary called ADHD and loving it?! You can click the link to learn more about it. It was heart wrenching to listen to his childhood story unfold. ADHD used to be coined: Mild Brain Dysfunction- He spoke a little about what that means to a kid to be told they have mild brain dysfunction (his poignant joke was: how does that sound? you're retarded, but you're not even doing retarded right) He was sent to a catholic school run by nuns. He would get "disciplined" regularly for not doing things right. They just assumed he needed more discipline, so they made him an altar boy. That's great. A child that can't stand still- lets hand him a job dealing with a large robe, fire, and lots of holding still quietly. Didn't go really well. Then you get to the teen years. Teenage years with ADHD are harder than just raging hormones. Without active parents that are helping their child understand what their disorder is, and how to deal with it there is a much higher risk of drug and alcohol abuse because it's self-medicating. Self medicating often proves to the child that there is something wrong because these drugs help them think more clearly, they can slow down, they notice a calmness in themselves. Even at a young age they notice that difference. Patrick was fortunate to get himself away from those things after witnessing friends go too far down that path. He also had a very in tune teacher that took him to a show of Second City (a knock off of SNL where he saw martin short co-starring in an improve night). He had an epiphany- that's how he thinks, that's how he acts, that's where he fit in- he should be on stage. So he began to hyper focus on that goal. ADHD people have the AMAZING ability to hyper-focus on something they desire, or enjoy doing immensely. Ex: video games is a common one. Again he was fortunate to be found by the man writing the Red Green Show and became an actor. Doesn't mean his ADHD went away, it meant he was now using it regularly as a strong point. I haven't mentioned the fact that ADHD often presents with a co-morbid disorder (meaning something else that you have to deal with, another disorder. Commonly it's depression, dyslexia, and anxiety) Patrick is dyslexic. He would have to learn his parts by doing readings with his infinitely patient wife from the ending to the beginning. To keep his interest peaked. If he started a script at the beginning he would just guess the ending and get bored and not finish it.

So that's a tid bit of Patrick McKenna's Story. I highly suggest going to the website and looking up a bit of info.

ADHD also comes with a higher propensity for addiction. A dangerous combo don't you think? It takes parents, teachers, and anyone else that loves this child to work together to help them EVER SINGLE DAY with many different facets of life. It takes vigilance and a good relationship. The most important thing is your relationship with your child. Nothing, not even failing classes, doing drugs, or ANYTHING else is worth ruining that relationship.

ADHD kids AND adults struggle with self esteem issues their whole lives. I would too if I were in a world full of round holes but I was a square peg and didn't fit in. They need people around them that buoy them up with praise about their good traits because they have many. The next time you are working with a child or an adult with ADHD, remember that they have a disability. Take a breath and look for the positive. Have a laugh. Go out for ice cream together. Hug them and tell them that they're doing a good job.

My heart aches for the children in homes that don't believe in this disorder. My heart aches for the adults struggling in their work place, or lack there of, without knowledge that there is help out there.

So here is my plea. Do some research. You know someone affected by this, probably many people. Get to know a bit about it. It is a real disorder. These kids don't just need a good spanking. They don't need more punishments. They need more love. More understanding. More compassion for the fight that they go through every day to accomplish every day tasks.

Please visit www.chadd.com

On behalf of my loved ones that are working with this disorder- thank you.

Corban = ADHD

Some people would prefer I not talk about this.
If your child were farsighted- would you tell your child to not tell people they can't see well? Or not wear their glasses because someone might find out that they have a disability?
Some people would prefer I not "label" my child.
Other kids already know that Corban is different. Adding a name to WHY he's different doesn't change the fact that they know he's different.
Some people say I shouldn't tell Corban that he is ADHD.
Would it be better that he just use his imagination to figure out a reason why he can't sit still like other kids his age? Or listen to instructions as well? Kids will come up with reasons like: I'm just dumb. I'm just not as good. I can't learn. Corban has a RIGHT to know that he is SMART and that his brain just functions differently.
Some people say there's no reason for a child to be on medication.
If your child were diabetic would you withhold the vital medication to make your child whole?
Some people say that he can't be ADHD because he's smart.
ADHD isn't a "dumb" disorder. Albert Einstein was ADHD.

Let me say this: Jack and I love our children. We would do anything for them. That includes helping them be able to thrive in this world, in school, in church, and with friends. We have taught them numerous things such as manners, self discipline, academic things like letters, words, numbers, colors, shapes, and about the gospel. We are now seeking help from professionals that can teach us how to further teach them how to cope with being ADHD. We are not experts on this topic. We will read the research on different treatment methods. We are tirelessly spending the small amounts of "free time" we have when the kids are in bed reading as much as we can on this topic. If medication is necessary for our children to be able to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually then that is what we will do in combination with teaching them the skills that they will need in life. Putting a child on medication to treat ADHD doesn't solve everything, it just levels the playing field so they can learn like other children. Medication will not teach a child how to keep their room clean or use words instead of violence- But it will help them slow down in order to think before reacting. It can change their response from: Ready! Fire! Aim! to Ready! Aim! Fire! Corban needs help. We will find it for him. We will fight for his right to be able to achieve everything he wants to achieve. We will provide him the opportunities to reach as high as he can. He is a very smart kid- he's learning Chinese for pete's sake.

We thank you all for your support and kind words. We welcome any positive thoughts, and current research that you may come across in learning about ADHD. We are excited to have a direction to go to help Corban become the best he can be.

with love
amanda and jack