Pocket full of Posies,
Ashes.
Ashes.
we all fall down.
the midwife is charging us the full amount of her delivery cost. $1400. no joke. I brought it up to her at my follow up appointment. Her reason for not lessening the charge (I'm not asking for a freebie here I just don't think I should be getting charged for a service that wasn't performed) was that she has to pay $400-$500 per delivery to cover her malpractice insurance- k...so let me just pay the malpractice cost so you get nothing. duh. I hate money. I feel like I'm spinning and spinning and about to fall down. but I have to pretend not to stress about it or my sweet husband gets all down on life and stresses even more. so shhhh. this little vent will be our little secret. night.
*Edit*
Yes my insurance covers her services-That's something I made sure of before hand...a lot of good that's doing me though... they are applying $850 to my deductible, then we have to cover 20% after that on the remaining balance.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
here goes nothin-my hellish delivery story...
Hi. Sorry- been a bit busy the last few months...what with having a baby and all that jazz. anywho- as promised I will share this horrendous labor and delivery story with you. It will be super long and I totally get it if no one reads it but it needed to get written down.
***Moms that have been there done this shouldn't be too off put by this story- but I can't speak for ladies that haven't gone through it yet. Don't read it if you're a person that stresses too much over other's experiences.
Please note- I waited a month to do this post on purpose- so as to calm myself down and not be quite as mad about this experience. Any left over frustration you read in this post is totally earned and I have a right to be mad about it. (you'll see why.)
Monday Jan. 24th-37 wks and 3 days
I have an appointment with my midwife. First we discuss the details of my birth plan to make sure we're on the same page. Things like: no epidural, no stirrups, don't want to be strapped to the monitors longer than necessary- I want to be able to be mobile, and no checking unless really necessary *just remember that last one- count the number of times I get checked*. She also tells me that she'll come to the hospital when I'm at a 5 dilation to help with the laboring and make sure I've got the support I need to follow my birth plan and ensure that labor goes smoothly enough that I don't tear too badly. She tells me that when going through labor naturally there's no reason that I should worry about tearing at all- "she's going to prevent the tearing." Then she notes that I'm at a 4 dilation, and 70% effaced. So we talk options- after all I can't be waddling around totally dilated without worrying that a baby is going to fall out... Plus the fact that I'm group b strep positive so we don't want labor to go too quickly or we wouldn't get the full dose of antibiotic into my system for the baby. She says that we have two options- wait until I go into labor on my own- hustle into the hospital as soon as I know I'm in labor with contractions about 5 min apart and get the group b strep going and just hope that I get one full dose in before having the baby, Or plan a day to go in to the hospital- start the antibiotic going, then break my water to get labor going as soon as a full dose is in. I know that I'm not going to be pregnant much longer so I go with the first option of going in as soon as labor starts- with the back up plan #2 if I haven't gone into labor by the following monday (knowing full well that I'm not going to make it that long). I leave the appointment excited about having a baby and meet up with my mom to look for fabric for a blessing dress for the baby on the way. Walking around a few fabric stores I notice I'm having stronger contractions every time we get back to the car and sit. I kept water handy to keep hydrated and I'd done bathroom breaks at each store so I knew these contractions weren't because of dehydration or a full bladder. When I decide it's time to head home I have several contractions strong enough to make me think it's starting. When I get home I call my midwife to let her know about the contractions and she suggests getting in the shower and relaxing to see if they go away. I took a bath and went to bed- they were still erratic in timing and only every once in a while were they really uncomfortable. By morning though it was a different story.
Tuesday Jan. 25, 37 wks 4 days
I had some pretty serious contractions starting around 4 am. Jack got up and ready for work at 5 and I told him he'd probably be coming home so he should keep his phone handy. By 6:30 am I knew she'd come that day. My contractions were between 4 and 8 min apart, and getting slightly uncomfortable. I called my mom and got her on her way to come get the boys. I called jack and told him to head home to get me. By 7 they were 5 min apart as I'm walking around getting everything ready. My sweet friend April came and watched the boys so jack and I could leave before my mom arrived. Outside it was snowing big fluffy cotton ball snowflakes- now I really knew that I'd have this baby today- both boys came during a snowy day. I get to the hospital and sit in an office to fill out paperwork...which was ridiculous. What about the ladies that aren't calm and kind during labor?? anyway- the office lady calls the delivery dept and says "hi ______, I've got a lady here that thinks she's in labor...yeah....okay room 203? thanks." click. Not kidding. She totally didn't believe that I was in labor without being a total psycho. The first of the day. We head down to the room they've assigned me and my first nurse slash ogre introduces herself and tells me to get into a hospital gown and we'll start monitoring the contractions and check the dilation. ***I say she was a nurse slash ogre for a few reasons 1. she was similar body type to shrek (mean I know- but just wait) 2. she was about as courteous as a hippo- the man eating kind 3. she had hands and arms as big around as a red wood tree trunk- remember this nurse is supposed to "check" me...big hands= not awesome.*** She tries to check my progress- I have no idea what she did but it wasn't the correct way to do it- that was more painful than some of my strongest contractions I had with gabe. I told her to stop and get someone else. The other nurse was much nicer- both in bedside manner and technique I was still at a 4 and 70. I told them they needed to start the antibiotics so my midwife would be able to come and break my water. They hmm'ed and haa'ed for a bit then left. They monitored me for an hour and decided that I needed to walk around for an hour to see if that would produce more progress. So we walked. I did stairs. I ate a granny b's pink cookie and went back to check the progress. While walking I was having contractions about every 2 min and they were about a min long. I knew if I could keep walking I'd move everything along pretty quickly. The ogre nurse says she'll get the other nurse to check me. I can tell she is getting testy about this whole thing. She asks if I'm doing an epidural- I say no. Her response? "Oh man, that last bit is pretty hard, I don't know if you want to do that" duh. at first I was speechless- what idiot did I get stuck with??? then I just turned to her then said "yeah, that's what I hear but I'm doing this naturally so don't talk to me anymore about pain meds- but you're welcome to give me any good advice on going naturally." At this point I'm at a 5 and they want to monitor me for another hour- where the freak is my midwife to help me adhere to my birth plan that says I don't need to be monitored so much??? The nurses have been calling her and telling her that I'm not really in active labor and that she doesn't need to come so she's happily seeing patients in her clinic. Every time I lay down to be monitored the contractions slow to 6 min apart- thus the part of my birth plan that says I want to be mobile! to keep things moving! At around 1 the ogre nurse comes back to tell me I haven't progressed enough to do anything other than discharge me. She says that my midwife wants me to leave and walk around target and have some lunch and come back to get checked by 2:30. Lets just say I was kinda miffed. Where was my antibiotics? where was my midwife? why weren't they listening to me? I had done this before- twice. I know what my body is telling me! So we left and walked around target and got some kneaders for lunch. While walking target the contractions are about a minute 30 apart and about a minute 30 long and I can't walk through them- each one I can feel that my body is trying to move the baby lower but cannot because my water hasn't broken *usual signs of advanced active labor right???* I head back to the hospital and I'm still at a 5 but I'm fully effaced now. What do they do?? yes. monitor me for an hour again. check me again- still at a 5 because no one can break my water- because I'm not at 38 weeks and they don't believe that I'm in active labor. idiots. after another hour of monitoring the second nurse comes in to check me again- still at a 5- maybe 6 but she thinks I should just go home and get some rest. I held it together until she left the room- then I fell apart. I was bawling. Why were they sending me home? Did they WANT me to have this baby in the car someplace? Why weren't they listening to me?! I could feel that my body was ready to have this baby right then but couldn't progress without my water breaking- and my water will not break on its own- it made it to a nine with gabe. She came back in and saw that I was a mess- bawling and talking to jack and she took pity on me and said that maybe she could keep me for one more hour. She had another nurse come in to check me *about 4:30*. The other nurse said I was at a 6 and that I should stay. I could finally tell them I wanted to be mobile and to unhook all the monitors. I was able to sit on a yoga ball and things progressed very quickly as soon as I was staying mobile and sitting on a yoga ball. They went ahead and started the IV for the antibiotics and we watched inception *great movie* while my contractions got stronger. As soon as the antibiotics were in my system *about 4:45 pm* they sent in a dr *at 5:20 ish* who was already in the delivery ward to check me and break my water I was at an 8 and 100%. As soon as he'd broken my water everything went really quickly. I was telling my nurse that they (the contractions) were getting serious and the baby was on her way. She just kept typing on her computer not really caring that I was telling her that she should get her butt in gear. I started getting really hardcore contractions that were moving the baby down the birth canal. I told the nurse that she was coming- instead of getting a dr or anyone she just started doing some counter pressure on my knees (which was heavenly I have to say) and talking me through the contractions. The second nurse of the day came in to see how I was doing and let me know that my midwife was just going to come after finishing her last two appointments *it's 6:00 pm*- yes I'm serious she was finishing her appointments....Anyway, the nurse saw that I was in severe discomfort and pain. She says she's going to check me AFTER I tell her that this baby is coming. hello. hello. anyone home? I just said this baby is coming and you want to check me instead? she checks me anyway. "oh! there's a head!" I'm thinking..."what have I been telling you people??? Have I been speaking Chinese???" She sends the nurse that was doing the counter pressure to go get someone- she comes back with a handful of nurses- no dr. not really smart. Then it's serious. This baby is coming- no dr in sight and no midwife and they position a nurse in the "catch position" as she says "oh, I've never done this part before" nice. I had Chloe in about 3 contractions (about 7 min) and was really happy to have her here in one piece even if I wasn't in one piece. no thanks to any of the staff at jordan valley or my midwife. The nurse that was there to catch hands jack the scissors to cut the umbilical chord before even clamping it off...luckily one of the other nurses saw this and stopped her before letting jack cut. All of the nurses were pretty much in shock and saying things like "wow...I've never seen someone progress that quickly" or "wow that was so fast" or "you get a gold star today for the fastest delivery". While they were all saying these things I'm wondering "was ANYONE listening when I told them I progress this quickly???" obviously not. As I'm holding my baby and they're kinda wandering around doing their stuff and trying to figure out what to do next my midwife walks in. "hi amanda. You had her? Oh shoot I missed it..." again DUH. All these people had been warned. I had told my midwife at every appointment that it'd go this quickly as soon as they break my water. I'd also told her that I'm a bleeder every time and to expect it at this delivery too. I'd told every nurse that had come into my room that it'd go that quickly once my water broke. No one listened. So my midwife suits up and sits down to deliver the placenta and assess the damage. Lovely. She delivers the placenta and starts stitching and beating my guts to a pulp. I was bleeding pretty badly for quite a while so she had to knead my stomach really deeply for close to an hour. As well as giving me large doses of pitocin. My stomach was so deeply bruised afterwards that my stomach just wasn't a happy person for well over a week after delivery- which is totally not the norm. On top of that I had torn very badly multiple places-inside and out- because of the stress of such a fast delivery and the lack of trained personnel there to help. I had to take large doses of Oxycontin and 800mg ibuprofen to deal with the pain. Nursing went really easily which was surprising. Chloe was just a natural at it so it worked out well for about the first 5 days. Then I got a splitting headache that wouldn't go away unless I was up on my Oxycontin- the huge doses of Ibpro. didn't touch the headache. I also had a fever and chills pretty badly and was just in a whole mountain of hurt. I read up on the symptoms of mastitis. I called my midwife and told her I thought I had mastitis (an infection that can happen when nursing) she didn't believe me and told me to go into an ER to get my blood pressure checked. not kidding. She thought the headache was from a blood pressure problem. I went in to an urgent care clinic and they went "yup. it's mastitis." blood pressure was totally normal by the way. They gave me a dose of antibiotics right then in the form of a butt shot- nice...add insult to injury, and an Rx for antibiotics. We asked the dr at the er to peek into chloe's mouth because we suspected that she had thrush. Sure enough- she had thrush. I had mastitis, she had thrush. So much fun. So that's it in a giant nut shell. My hellish experience finally having my little girl.
We're both finally better. We're both finally able to get through the day without pain. It took 3 and a half weeks but we're finally there. Now just to get the boys over their colds...
***Moms that have been there done this shouldn't be too off put by this story- but I can't speak for ladies that haven't gone through it yet. Don't read it if you're a person that stresses too much over other's experiences.
Please note- I waited a month to do this post on purpose- so as to calm myself down and not be quite as mad about this experience. Any left over frustration you read in this post is totally earned and I have a right to be mad about it. (you'll see why.)
Monday Jan. 24th-37 wks and 3 days
I have an appointment with my midwife. First we discuss the details of my birth plan to make sure we're on the same page. Things like: no epidural, no stirrups, don't want to be strapped to the monitors longer than necessary- I want to be able to be mobile, and no checking unless really necessary *just remember that last one- count the number of times I get checked*. She also tells me that she'll come to the hospital when I'm at a 5 dilation to help with the laboring and make sure I've got the support I need to follow my birth plan and ensure that labor goes smoothly enough that I don't tear too badly. She tells me that when going through labor naturally there's no reason that I should worry about tearing at all- "she's going to prevent the tearing." Then she notes that I'm at a 4 dilation, and 70% effaced. So we talk options- after all I can't be waddling around totally dilated without worrying that a baby is going to fall out... Plus the fact that I'm group b strep positive so we don't want labor to go too quickly or we wouldn't get the full dose of antibiotic into my system for the baby. She says that we have two options- wait until I go into labor on my own- hustle into the hospital as soon as I know I'm in labor with contractions about 5 min apart and get the group b strep going and just hope that I get one full dose in before having the baby, Or plan a day to go in to the hospital- start the antibiotic going, then break my water to get labor going as soon as a full dose is in. I know that I'm not going to be pregnant much longer so I go with the first option of going in as soon as labor starts- with the back up plan #2 if I haven't gone into labor by the following monday (knowing full well that I'm not going to make it that long). I leave the appointment excited about having a baby and meet up with my mom to look for fabric for a blessing dress for the baby on the way. Walking around a few fabric stores I notice I'm having stronger contractions every time we get back to the car and sit. I kept water handy to keep hydrated and I'd done bathroom breaks at each store so I knew these contractions weren't because of dehydration or a full bladder. When I decide it's time to head home I have several contractions strong enough to make me think it's starting. When I get home I call my midwife to let her know about the contractions and she suggests getting in the shower and relaxing to see if they go away. I took a bath and went to bed- they were still erratic in timing and only every once in a while were they really uncomfortable. By morning though it was a different story.
Tuesday Jan. 25, 37 wks 4 days
I had some pretty serious contractions starting around 4 am. Jack got up and ready for work at 5 and I told him he'd probably be coming home so he should keep his phone handy. By 6:30 am I knew she'd come that day. My contractions were between 4 and 8 min apart, and getting slightly uncomfortable. I called my mom and got her on her way to come get the boys. I called jack and told him to head home to get me. By 7 they were 5 min apart as I'm walking around getting everything ready. My sweet friend April came and watched the boys so jack and I could leave before my mom arrived. Outside it was snowing big fluffy cotton ball snowflakes- now I really knew that I'd have this baby today- both boys came during a snowy day. I get to the hospital and sit in an office to fill out paperwork...which was ridiculous. What about the ladies that aren't calm and kind during labor?? anyway- the office lady calls the delivery dept and says "hi ______, I've got a lady here that thinks she's in labor...yeah....okay room 203? thanks." click. Not kidding. She totally didn't believe that I was in labor without being a total psycho. The first of the day. We head down to the room they've assigned me and my first nurse slash ogre introduces herself and tells me to get into a hospital gown and we'll start monitoring the contractions and check the dilation. ***I say she was a nurse slash ogre for a few reasons 1. she was similar body type to shrek (mean I know- but just wait) 2. she was about as courteous as a hippo- the man eating kind 3. she had hands and arms as big around as a red wood tree trunk- remember this nurse is supposed to "check" me...big hands= not awesome.*** She tries to check my progress- I have no idea what she did but it wasn't the correct way to do it- that was more painful than some of my strongest contractions I had with gabe. I told her to stop and get someone else. The other nurse was much nicer- both in bedside manner and technique I was still at a 4 and 70. I told them they needed to start the antibiotics so my midwife would be able to come and break my water. They hmm'ed and haa'ed for a bit then left. They monitored me for an hour and decided that I needed to walk around for an hour to see if that would produce more progress. So we walked. I did stairs. I ate a granny b's pink cookie and went back to check the progress. While walking I was having contractions about every 2 min and they were about a min long. I knew if I could keep walking I'd move everything along pretty quickly. The ogre nurse says she'll get the other nurse to check me. I can tell she is getting testy about this whole thing. She asks if I'm doing an epidural- I say no. Her response? "Oh man, that last bit is pretty hard, I don't know if you want to do that" duh. at first I was speechless- what idiot did I get stuck with??? then I just turned to her then said "yeah, that's what I hear but I'm doing this naturally so don't talk to me anymore about pain meds- but you're welcome to give me any good advice on going naturally." At this point I'm at a 5 and they want to monitor me for another hour- where the freak is my midwife to help me adhere to my birth plan that says I don't need to be monitored so much??? The nurses have been calling her and telling her that I'm not really in active labor and that she doesn't need to come so she's happily seeing patients in her clinic. Every time I lay down to be monitored the contractions slow to 6 min apart- thus the part of my birth plan that says I want to be mobile! to keep things moving! At around 1 the ogre nurse comes back to tell me I haven't progressed enough to do anything other than discharge me. She says that my midwife wants me to leave and walk around target and have some lunch and come back to get checked by 2:30. Lets just say I was kinda miffed. Where was my antibiotics? where was my midwife? why weren't they listening to me? I had done this before- twice. I know what my body is telling me! So we left and walked around target and got some kneaders for lunch. While walking target the contractions are about a minute 30 apart and about a minute 30 long and I can't walk through them- each one I can feel that my body is trying to move the baby lower but cannot because my water hasn't broken *usual signs of advanced active labor right???* I head back to the hospital and I'm still at a 5 but I'm fully effaced now. What do they do?? yes. monitor me for an hour again. check me again- still at a 5 because no one can break my water- because I'm not at 38 weeks and they don't believe that I'm in active labor. idiots. after another hour of monitoring the second nurse comes in to check me again- still at a 5- maybe 6 but she thinks I should just go home and get some rest. I held it together until she left the room- then I fell apart. I was bawling. Why were they sending me home? Did they WANT me to have this baby in the car someplace? Why weren't they listening to me?! I could feel that my body was ready to have this baby right then but couldn't progress without my water breaking- and my water will not break on its own- it made it to a nine with gabe. She came back in and saw that I was a mess- bawling and talking to jack and she took pity on me and said that maybe she could keep me for one more hour. She had another nurse come in to check me *about 4:30*. The other nurse said I was at a 6 and that I should stay. I could finally tell them I wanted to be mobile and to unhook all the monitors. I was able to sit on a yoga ball and things progressed very quickly as soon as I was staying mobile and sitting on a yoga ball. They went ahead and started the IV for the antibiotics and we watched inception *great movie* while my contractions got stronger. As soon as the antibiotics were in my system *about 4:45 pm* they sent in a dr *at 5:20 ish* who was already in the delivery ward to check me and break my water I was at an 8 and 100%. As soon as he'd broken my water everything went really quickly. I was telling my nurse that they (the contractions) were getting serious and the baby was on her way. She just kept typing on her computer not really caring that I was telling her that she should get her butt in gear. I started getting really hardcore contractions that were moving the baby down the birth canal. I told the nurse that she was coming- instead of getting a dr or anyone she just started doing some counter pressure on my knees (which was heavenly I have to say) and talking me through the contractions. The second nurse of the day came in to see how I was doing and let me know that my midwife was just going to come after finishing her last two appointments *it's 6:00 pm*- yes I'm serious she was finishing her appointments....Anyway, the nurse saw that I was in severe discomfort and pain. She says she's going to check me AFTER I tell her that this baby is coming. hello. hello. anyone home? I just said this baby is coming and you want to check me instead? she checks me anyway. "oh! there's a head!" I'm thinking..."what have I been telling you people??? Have I been speaking Chinese???" She sends the nurse that was doing the counter pressure to go get someone- she comes back with a handful of nurses- no dr. not really smart. Then it's serious. This baby is coming- no dr in sight and no midwife and they position a nurse in the "catch position" as she says "oh, I've never done this part before" nice. I had Chloe in about 3 contractions (about 7 min) and was really happy to have her here in one piece even if I wasn't in one piece. no thanks to any of the staff at jordan valley or my midwife. The nurse that was there to catch hands jack the scissors to cut the umbilical chord before even clamping it off...luckily one of the other nurses saw this and stopped her before letting jack cut. All of the nurses were pretty much in shock and saying things like "wow...I've never seen someone progress that quickly" or "wow that was so fast" or "you get a gold star today for the fastest delivery". While they were all saying these things I'm wondering "was ANYONE listening when I told them I progress this quickly???" obviously not. As I'm holding my baby and they're kinda wandering around doing their stuff and trying to figure out what to do next my midwife walks in. "hi amanda. You had her? Oh shoot I missed it..." again DUH. All these people had been warned. I had told my midwife at every appointment that it'd go this quickly as soon as they break my water. I'd also told her that I'm a bleeder every time and to expect it at this delivery too. I'd told every nurse that had come into my room that it'd go that quickly once my water broke. No one listened. So my midwife suits up and sits down to deliver the placenta and assess the damage. Lovely. She delivers the placenta and starts stitching and beating my guts to a pulp. I was bleeding pretty badly for quite a while so she had to knead my stomach really deeply for close to an hour. As well as giving me large doses of pitocin. My stomach was so deeply bruised afterwards that my stomach just wasn't a happy person for well over a week after delivery- which is totally not the norm. On top of that I had torn very badly multiple places-inside and out- because of the stress of such a fast delivery and the lack of trained personnel there to help. I had to take large doses of Oxycontin and 800mg ibuprofen to deal with the pain. Nursing went really easily which was surprising. Chloe was just a natural at it so it worked out well for about the first 5 days. Then I got a splitting headache that wouldn't go away unless I was up on my Oxycontin- the huge doses of Ibpro. didn't touch the headache. I also had a fever and chills pretty badly and was just in a whole mountain of hurt. I read up on the symptoms of mastitis. I called my midwife and told her I thought I had mastitis (an infection that can happen when nursing) she didn't believe me and told me to go into an ER to get my blood pressure checked. not kidding. She thought the headache was from a blood pressure problem. I went in to an urgent care clinic and they went "yup. it's mastitis." blood pressure was totally normal by the way. They gave me a dose of antibiotics right then in the form of a butt shot- nice...add insult to injury, and an Rx for antibiotics. We asked the dr at the er to peek into chloe's mouth because we suspected that she had thrush. Sure enough- she had thrush. I had mastitis, she had thrush. So much fun. So that's it in a giant nut shell. My hellish experience finally having my little girl.
We're both finally better. We're both finally able to get through the day without pain. It took 3 and a half weeks but we're finally there. Now just to get the boys over their colds...
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
because typing's faster.
I have to type this experience up before I forget the total awesomeness of it. Then later I'm sure I'll have a mega super huge post with pics about all the fun things in december. How about after I have this baby? sounds good. k. on to the totally AWEsome experience.
Cliff notes version:
*we had been pre-paying our dr for this pregnancy so we'd be paid off come delivery. awesome of us right?
*we found out our dr couldn't deliver (found this out at my 32 wk appt) for us and we should find a new dr. {um...both boys came at 38 wks so that left me with like 0 time to spare.}
*we found an awesome midwife to deliver and she's DARLING!
*our old dr office billed the insurance company DEC. 29th (thanks. thanks a lot.)
*we found out our insurance was applying ALL of it to deductible so we'd be getting less than 100 bones back...even though she didn't deliver a bouncing baby girl....
*probably a little cussing.
*trying to figure out how in the heck we were going to pay off this years deductible after covering ALL of last year's deductible...
*REALLY stressing about fundage...
*Deiciding as a new years goal we'd pay our tithing EACH WEEK instead of trying to lump sum it at the end of the month....hope it works
*how in the heck is this going to work???
*The math definitely isn't working....
*me- "jack please come home on your ever so short lunch break to give me a blessing- I think my head's going to explode from stress and I'm miserably pregnant.." jack- "I'll be right there! no problem!" (he's my hero.)
*it'll work somehow...
*oh wait jack's bonus (one third of our income people...) might be HALF of what it should normally be...
*it's not working...
*phone rang today. it was the old dr office. I'm thinking oh crap. we owe more $ or something crazy like that. This is the conversation that ensued. Her:"Is this Amanda?" Me:"yes, this is her." Her:"this is _______ I'm the one that talked to you about your refund at the end of last month..." Me:"yes, I remember..." Her:"well we've gotten the response from your insurance company and it looks like I told you the wrong amount for your refund." Me:"oh? different how?" (assuming it would be less). Her:"it will be a little more." Me:"a little more? like how much more?" Her:"$***.** (about 8 times what she'd originally told me." Me:"pardon?" Her:"yeah, your insurance ended up paying it in full so they didn't apply ANY of it to your deductible. Can I verify your address because I'm going to go run this to the lady that does all the refunds so it can get to you as quickly as possible."
yeah.
told you.
AWE some.
I know this is a direct blessing of us deciding to pay our tithing each week in full regardless of how strapped it looks on the front end of the week. Pretty sweet deal huh? pay the lord 10% and he'll make the impossible- possible. try it. it's fun.
Cliff notes version:
*we had been pre-paying our dr for this pregnancy so we'd be paid off come delivery. awesome of us right?
*we found out our dr couldn't deliver (found this out at my 32 wk appt) for us and we should find a new dr. {um...both boys came at 38 wks so that left me with like 0 time to spare.}
*we found an awesome midwife to deliver and she's DARLING!
*our old dr office billed the insurance company DEC. 29th (thanks. thanks a lot.)
*we found out our insurance was applying ALL of it to deductible so we'd be getting less than 100 bones back...even though she didn't deliver a bouncing baby girl....
*probably a little cussing.
*trying to figure out how in the heck we were going to pay off this years deductible after covering ALL of last year's deductible...
*REALLY stressing about fundage...
*Deiciding as a new years goal we'd pay our tithing EACH WEEK instead of trying to lump sum it at the end of the month....hope it works
*how in the heck is this going to work???
*The math definitely isn't working....
*me- "jack please come home on your ever so short lunch break to give me a blessing- I think my head's going to explode from stress and I'm miserably pregnant.." jack- "I'll be right there! no problem!" (he's my hero.)
*it'll work somehow...
*oh wait jack's bonus (one third of our income people...) might be HALF of what it should normally be...
*it's not working...
*phone rang today. it was the old dr office. I'm thinking oh crap. we owe more $ or something crazy like that. This is the conversation that ensued. Her:"Is this Amanda?" Me:"yes, this is her." Her:"this is _______ I'm the one that talked to you about your refund at the end of last month..." Me:"yes, I remember..." Her:"well we've gotten the response from your insurance company and it looks like I told you the wrong amount for your refund." Me:"oh? different how?" (assuming it would be less). Her:"it will be a little more." Me:"a little more? like how much more?" Her:"$***.** (about 8 times what she'd originally told me." Me:"pardon?" Her:"yeah, your insurance ended up paying it in full so they didn't apply ANY of it to your deductible. Can I verify your address because I'm going to go run this to the lady that does all the refunds so it can get to you as quickly as possible."
yeah.
told you.
AWE some.
I know this is a direct blessing of us deciding to pay our tithing each week in full regardless of how strapped it looks on the front end of the week. Pretty sweet deal huh? pay the lord 10% and he'll make the impossible- possible. try it. it's fun.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Making a Metaphore
So there's been a random comment rattling around my brain lately. I recall when I was in high school that a friend of mine said after her driver's ed class: "Man I HATE left turns. They're too scary. I'm going to make as few left turns as possible." I'm not kidding. She was really going to try to live life making as few left turns as possible. Granted, this was high school and we all know how wise high school students are- but really? As I've thought about this strange comment that came to memory the last week I've realized that most of us live like this to some extent. "I'm not going to the dentist- it will hurt to fill a cavity." or "I don't want to go to the dr because they'll swab my throat and that hurts." Even though in those cases- a cavity or strep throat causes us much more pain than actually dealing with it. How many places in our own lives can we apply this to???
I know I definitely try to avoid painful things- I'm like rex from toy story: "I can't handle confrontation!" Things in life that are confrontational scare me-they totally throw off my groove so to speak. I stress about it day and night. I try my best to handle them the best way I can to get back to being in a non confrontational situation.
As of late there have been two situations that have been exactly this type of situation. It's eating me alive to know that these things aren't resolved yet! Both of these situations shouldn't be an issue in the first place but some how or another are trying to make life miserable. I've tried to resolve both of these issues head on to get out of the confrontation stage with no success. So head on didn't work- then what do I do? I don't want this to be the "left turn" I'm avoiding or something. I want to deal with it. any advice?
While you're thinking of great advice to give me let me clue you in on a little side note I realized today. I'm a better mommy when we eat doughnuts for lunch. True story. I think it has something to do with the fact that the boys feel so much more generous with nice comments when we have doughnuts for lunch. That in turn makes me a nicer mommy. How could you get frustrated with anything in life when your toddlers say on the way home from Reams: "oh mom, you're the best! I can smell those yummy fudgey doughnuts!" You can't. My boys are definitely my favorite blessings in life *including jack and this new baby girl of course* I was going to add a picture of the boys in their matching red jammies the other night after their bath but I can't find the camera- remind me and I'll do it later.
So those are my two thoughts for the day: Do I avoid making that left turn now? and I'm a better mommy when we eat doughnuts for lunch.
Love
amanda
I know I definitely try to avoid painful things- I'm like rex from toy story: "I can't handle confrontation!" Things in life that are confrontational scare me-they totally throw off my groove so to speak. I stress about it day and night. I try my best to handle them the best way I can to get back to being in a non confrontational situation.
As of late there have been two situations that have been exactly this type of situation. It's eating me alive to know that these things aren't resolved yet! Both of these situations shouldn't be an issue in the first place but some how or another are trying to make life miserable. I've tried to resolve both of these issues head on to get out of the confrontation stage with no success. So head on didn't work- then what do I do? I don't want this to be the "left turn" I'm avoiding or something. I want to deal with it. any advice?
While you're thinking of great advice to give me let me clue you in on a little side note I realized today. I'm a better mommy when we eat doughnuts for lunch. True story. I think it has something to do with the fact that the boys feel so much more generous with nice comments when we have doughnuts for lunch. That in turn makes me a nicer mommy. How could you get frustrated with anything in life when your toddlers say on the way home from Reams: "oh mom, you're the best! I can smell those yummy fudgey doughnuts!" You can't. My boys are definitely my favorite blessings in life *including jack and this new baby girl of course* I was going to add a picture of the boys in their matching red jammies the other night after their bath but I can't find the camera- remind me and I'll do it later.
So those are my two thoughts for the day: Do I avoid making that left turn now? and I'm a better mommy when we eat doughnuts for lunch.
Love
amanda
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
boys boys boys...
corban decided (and I say DECIDED on purpose because it was his decision) to get lost in a suzie's deals store the other day. *don't hate me for being in suzie's deals* So I promptly came home and made a double boy leash. one side for gabe and one side for corban. now my kids will be on a leash in public places without carts. no joke. I'll post pictures soon. and maybe even tell about the horrible no good day he decided to get lost. lets just say for now that combining a lost child with preggo hormones is not really the coolest thing ever. I did, however, eat my weight in chocolate after I got the boys home and into their beds. also not the coolest thing ever.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Because I need to.
I'm making a list of things I am good at. Call it positive reinforcement, or positive affirmations..whatever but I need to make this list for me.
*hair
*makeup (had to get those two out of the way to get to deeper things.)
*taking on more than I should
*not saying no- more specifically? to parties.
*going above and beyond what is asked. (example: one time in 3rd grade we were supposed to make some kind of indian dwelling...we made a full on wigwam complete with a leather patch roof, bundles of hay, and even had an animal hide (a piece of toasted Bologna) tanning in the front)
*scrapbooking- sometimes.
*stressing too much
*complaining too much
*reading to my kids- most of the time
*being silly with my kids
*being open to others' opinions and letting them share them without forcing my own on them
*not judging others- until it comes to them complaining about their current situation- then I wanna tap them on the shoulder and say: "it's your life- make it what you want it to be and stop complaining about it."
*crunching numbers- not so much at budgeting
*following my church leaders openly- without question
*having faith
*taking care of our cars
*not stressing about the spotlessness of our house (could be a bad thing, who knows?)
*listening
*sticking to my guns with my kids- I'm the mean parent. ask the boys.
*Procrastinating
K, I've listed 20 things. half of which are probably bad things and cheater things to list....I'll try again some other time when I'm being less pessimistic. I triple dog dare you to try writing your own list of 20 things you're good at. try it. it's hard to be honest about your good traits.
*hair
*makeup (had to get those two out of the way to get to deeper things.)
*taking on more than I should
*not saying no- more specifically? to parties.
*going above and beyond what is asked. (example: one time in 3rd grade we were supposed to make some kind of indian dwelling...we made a full on wigwam complete with a leather patch roof, bundles of hay, and even had an animal hide (a piece of toasted Bologna) tanning in the front)
*scrapbooking- sometimes.
*stressing too much
*complaining too much
*reading to my kids- most of the time
*being silly with my kids
*being open to others' opinions and letting them share them without forcing my own on them
*not judging others- until it comes to them complaining about their current situation- then I wanna tap them on the shoulder and say: "it's your life- make it what you want it to be and stop complaining about it."
*crunching numbers- not so much at budgeting
*following my church leaders openly- without question
*having faith
*taking care of our cars
*not stressing about the spotlessness of our house (could be a bad thing, who knows?)
*listening
*sticking to my guns with my kids- I'm the mean parent. ask the boys.
*Procrastinating
K, I've listed 20 things. half of which are probably bad things and cheater things to list....I'll try again some other time when I'm being less pessimistic. I triple dog dare you to try writing your own list of 20 things you're good at. try it. it's hard to be honest about your good traits.
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The Larsens
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