Just Poppin' in!

hello! I'm going to sit down in a few days to jot down some extremely funny funnies to share with my little neglected blog. You should be on the edge of your seats. seriously.

with love
amanda

I think...

I'm trying to wrap my head around something, and this seems like as good a place as any to put it down somewhere I can refer back to it again and again. An aquaintance has revealed some pretty strong negative feelings about something that happened MANY years ago (as in before I was born...) and this person STILL has issues with it. So here's what I think: (keeping in mind that I don't know anything spectacular I'm just musing for a minute.)

Living in the same house on the same street for -- years is a long time. I can't imagine it. I can't imagine not wanting a little bit of change of pace by moving.

I think living someplace for that long starts making you feel as though you own the whole street- like it's part of what you should watch over and protect.

I think that's right where you could begin to question why a boundary should be someplace instead of another.

I think that's where you start convincing yourself that it's one of the biggest mistakes ever made with an area.

I think that's where you begin to doubt the inspiration and promptings of the spirit.

I think that's how the adversary works...slowly...steadily... with calculated doubts about our local church leaders and authorities, and their abilities to receive revelations for their stewardship.

As soon as we start doubting the Lord's hand in our everyday changes, in our callings, and in our day to day issues, we open a small space for the adversaries greatest tool: doubt. Like a tooth with a small cavity it can infect the rest of our lives if left untreated.

Here's to hoping that my small doubts each day can continue to be squashed by faith and knoweldge that the Lord is taking us where we need to be each day- whether it's through sunshine and flower patches, or through mud and rain- we'll be okay.

After having Chloe I had a BUNCH of doubts- about lots of things. About why I had to suffer physical pain, emotional pain, those types of things. I'd like to think that I've grown quite a bit from squashing those doubts with faith. I'd like to think that I did it on purpose. The real story, however, is much less Me, and a whole lot more of my Lord and Savior knowing exactly who to put in my path, who to send my way, and what I needed to hear from those people. Whether it was something in church, on the phone, or just the little day to day promptings. And for that I am so greatful. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my family can be together for all time and eternity because we have been sealed together in the temple. I know that can be a promise made good as long as we honor our covenants made that day. Nothing on this planet can take that away from me and I'm so thankful for that knowledge. I have a little picture of the savior on my computer desk where I pay bills. It has a small slip of paper on it that says Lean on me. It reminds me that we truely can lean on him for anything, small or big, and he'll shoulder that burden with us. I just wish my aquaintance knew this too- and could ask in sincere prayer why somethings change, and maybe that would help them feel more at peace.

No one promised life would be easy...

So why do we feel jipped when it's hard? I think I've come to a realization that life is hard now...and it's not going to get easier. If it got easier we wouldn't grow and progress. Sometimes I'd like to just not grow ha ha. But I guess that's not the point now is it? When we grow to understand and get around issues they'll seem easier so that's going to be my motivation. Figure it out so it'll seem easier.

Right now these are the things that are hard- that we need to figure out to make it easier:

• our *eh hem* busy kids.


• our mountain of debt that we're chipping away at with little toothpicks


• our paycheck to paycheck lifestyle


• trying to keep our focus on family and not on things


• trying to not worry about what the Jones' are doing...or buying


• trying to balance family with callings


• trying to get into shape


• trying to not force my opinion or "pearls of wisdom" on my sweet brothers that are adults and don't need my advice ;)


• trying to do everything


• not saying no when I should

The things that we are getting better at and the things that are getting easier are:

• time while corban's at preschool- me and gabe get to bond so much more while having a ball. *ADHD is easier when taken in one-on-one doses.*


• loving corban when he's at home and truly enjoying having him as my son


• loving gabe for, and with, his eccentricities


• loving my monster baby in all her "eating all the time...forever" glory


• loving our family time enough to have fun while sweating ha ha


• cleaning when I could be napping is getting there...still a work in progress but we're getting there


• going to church with my kids is getting easier because I think I've lowered my expectations substantially. minus the fact that gabe still runs up to the podium on a regular basis....


• getting to things on time if not a little early is totally more relaxing than showing up late and it's getting easier to do!

see? we're growing- like we should- with lots of room for improvement. This post isn't in anyway supposed to feel boastful, it's meant for ME to realize how great we're doing in the grand scheme of things.

ps. I'm SO excited to get to go to relief society on sunday! You have no idea! well I'll give you a teensy idea of why the change in callings is so amazing: a week and a half before being called as the stake emergency preparedness coordinator I was at an appointment with corban's therapist discussing how hard it is to get to church and feel like getting all the eye rolling I see from people is okay. The therapist (not lds) questioned if I could possibly be in a different room instead of being in primary with corban. I tried to explain why I couldn't just change to something else- that I had accepted this calling in primary. A week and a half later I had a new, non-primary calling. (without discussing this with jack, or anyone else in the ward or stake because I didn't think anything would help.) The lord hears even our silent prayers of the heart. deep huh?

Be not Ornery.

I've been a little stressed lately. Little is an understatement. It's okay though. It's okay because I have a great family. It's okay because I can still put one foot in front of the other. It's okay because no matter how crazy it gets we still have it way better than 80% of the world... I'm sure. It's okay because I can remember to "be not ornery". A phrase I coined one morning after waking from a horrendous nightmare (my stress levels are directly proportionate to how awful my nightmares are each night) and just not being able to shake the angry feeling from the dream. I called my mom and asked for help- I was so mad I could barely think straight and it was seeming to be impossible to shake. She reminded me to be grateful. Grateful for everything. During the Holocaust *I believe it was anne frank* there was someone that was grateful for fleas. When someone asked how they could be so optimistic and grateful for such an awful thing she replied: I'm grateful for the fleas in our beds because it keeps the guards out of our barracks. They don't check our mattresses so we can hide our bibles underneath them. I don't have fleas to be grateful for but I can be grateful for stinky garbage cans because that means that we have enough food to eat. I can be grateful for being able to serve. I can be grateful for a wonderful husband that works weekends for our family. I can be grateful that my children are in my care and not someone else's that may not be as loving. I can be grateful for the opportunity to live in a mission field type area- even though I didn't get to serve a full time mission. I can be grateful for the never ending laundry because it means we have clothes to wear. I can be grateful for Dr. bills because it means we can see a Dr. when our children are sick. I can be grateful for hospital bills because it means I was able to deliver a happy and healthy baby.

Sorry if I've wasted your time but I had to write this list of "things to be grateful for" somewhere I can remember to read it.

Here's to hoping we all can "be not Ornery".

My sweet gabey baby.

I love me some gabey goodness. He is such a little goof ball. He's sweet and funny, and just more and more fun every day. He's just blossoming with his language skillz and I'm pretty sure his only motivation is so that he can keep up with corban. So here's his latest funny. real people words will be in parenthasis.

Tonight at dinner we were all sitting and eating and he was saying "yook and my yeg!" (look at my leg) so I was trying to help him say the L sound. So my mom and I start going LLLLLLL and sticking our tounge out a bit so he can see what we're doing and copy it. Corban joined in going la la la la la la...and then jack and my dad also joined the L party. We started trying to have him go: llllllllllleg, or la la la leg. He tried it a few times and realized we'd cheer and make a fool of ourselves when he succeeded with the L sound so we started saying other L words like Larsen, and Love, etc. after a minute he wanted us to all cheer again because we were all doing the L sound again for him but he counldn't remember what L word started this whole thing so as soon as we all paused for him to say "leg" he said: "lalalalallllllllfeet!!!"
I could have died laughing. we were all in tears laughing and gabe started fake laughing because he couldn't figure out why we were laughing. Love that boy.


*by the by* we sold our pilot on wednesday....now we're car shopping on the worst car shopping weekend in the world...yikes. I say worst just because all the used car salesmen are out in full force to get you to buy more than you ask for around every corner. tragic. wish us luck!

What I wish I'd known

So I keep feeling like there's a reason I've been from here to there in my parenting roller coaster. I keep feeling like there's someone that could benefit from hearing about the pro's and con's of all the different things I've learned along the way.

I think mostly I'd love to share my info about the pro's and con's of:

• Natural labor vs epidural aided labor


• Dr. vs Midwife


• Breastfeeding vs Bottle


• Disposable diapers vs Cloth diapers (I know...how granola?!?...!!!)

Sounds like I've been there and back right? I almost feel like I need to have a nice little girls night that is meant for moms and soon to be moms to just talk about that- being mom! No selling, no buying, no pressure, just ladies talking about stuff they NEED to talk about. Take things off the "do not discuss" list- that sort of thing. I don't know. do I sound crazy?

Mi Madre

This is my mom. The woman that has taught me everything I know. Everything I know about being patient. Being Loving. Being Kind. Being Happy. I love and appreciate her so much. She is the epitome of selfless. I know my friends and neighbors know this to be true because she's constantly helping me with all my little issues, kids, or callings. She gives and gives and gives- without any thought to how much she has to accomplish that day, or week. The women of the Park Ward are lucky to have her as their Relief Society President. I don't know a woman that has more heart to give. Her testimony is strong and stalwart. She is faithful through and through. She is smart, talented and beautiful. I couldn't ask for a better mom. She is an amazing pianist, teacher, and book keeper. She is my go to when my kids are getting out of control. She is so knowledgeable about adhd and how to treat and handle it. She has volunteered innumerable hours to CHADD in helping parents that are new to the world of adhd. I can remember multiple calls every evening that she'd sit on the phone listening and consoling parents of children that were struggling with everything and didn't know where else to turn. I can remember all the time and effort she'd put in to helping us with school projects and making THE BEST ever diorama's in the world. I love her and only hope that I can be some semblance of a mother like her. I appreciate all she's done for me and I hope I can return the favor some day.

Love you Mom!