because typing's faster.

I have to type this experience up before I forget the total awesomeness of it. Then later I'm sure I'll have a mega super huge post with pics about all the fun things in december. How about after I have this baby? sounds good. k. on to the totally AWEsome experience.
Cliff notes version:
*we had been pre-paying our dr for this pregnancy so we'd be paid off come delivery. awesome of us right?
*we found out our dr couldn't deliver (found this out at my 32 wk appt) for us and we should find a new dr. {um...both boys came at 38 wks so that left me with like 0 time to spare.}
*we found an awesome midwife to deliver and she's DARLING!
*our old dr office billed the insurance company DEC. 29th (thanks. thanks a lot.)
*we found out our insurance was applying ALL of it to deductible so we'd be getting less than 100 bones back...even though she didn't deliver a bouncing baby girl....
*probably a little cussing.
*trying to figure out how in the heck we were going to pay off this years deductible after covering ALL of last year's deductible...
*REALLY stressing about fundage...
*Deiciding as a new years goal we'd pay our tithing EACH WEEK instead of trying to lump sum it at the end of the month....hope it works
*how in the heck is this going to work???
*The math definitely isn't working....
*me- "jack please come home on your ever so short lunch break to give me a blessing- I think my head's going to explode from stress and I'm miserably pregnant.." jack- "I'll be right there! no problem!" (he's my hero.)
*it'll work somehow...
*oh wait jack's bonus (one third of our income people...) might be HALF of what it should normally be...
*it's not working...
*phone rang today. it was the old dr office. I'm thinking oh crap. we owe more $ or something crazy like that. This is the conversation that ensued. Her:"Is this Amanda?" Me:"yes, this is her." Her:"this is _______ I'm the one that talked to you about your refund at the end of last month..." Me:"yes, I remember..." Her:"well we've gotten the response from your insurance company and it looks like I told you the wrong amount for your refund." Me:"oh? different how?" (assuming it would be less). Her:"it will be a little more." Me:"a little more? like how much more?" Her:"$***.** (about 8 times what she'd originally told me." Me:"pardon?" Her:"yeah, your insurance ended up paying it in full so they didn't apply ANY of it to your deductible. Can I verify your address because I'm going to go run this to the lady that does all the refunds so it can get to you as quickly as possible."

yeah.
told you.
AWE some.
I know this is a direct blessing of us deciding to pay our tithing each week in full regardless of how strapped it looks on the front end of the week. Pretty sweet deal huh? pay the lord 10% and he'll make the impossible- possible. try it. it's fun.

Making a Metaphore

So there's been a random comment rattling around my brain lately. I recall when I was in high school that a friend of mine said after her driver's ed class: "Man I HATE left turns. They're too scary. I'm going to make as few left turns as possible." I'm not kidding. She was really going to try to live life making as few left turns as possible. Granted, this was high school and we all know how wise high school students are- but really? As I've thought about this strange comment that came to memory the last week I've realized that most of us live like this to some extent. "I'm not going to the dentist- it will hurt to fill a cavity." or "I don't want to go to the dr because they'll swab my throat and that hurts." Even though in those cases- a cavity or strep throat causes us much more pain than actually dealing with it. How many places in our own lives can we apply this to???

I know I definitely try to avoid painful things- I'm like rex from toy story: "I can't handle confrontation!" Things in life that are confrontational scare me-they totally throw off my groove so to speak. I stress about it day and night. I try my best to handle them the best way I can to get back to being in a non confrontational situation.

As of late there have been two situations that have been exactly this type of situation. It's eating me alive to know that these things aren't resolved yet! Both of these situations shouldn't be an issue in the first place but some how or another are trying to make life miserable. I've tried to resolve both of these issues head on to get out of the confrontation stage with no success. So head on didn't work- then what do I do? I don't want this to be the "left turn" I'm avoiding or something. I want to deal with it. any advice?

While you're thinking of great advice to give me let me clue you in on a little side note I realized today. I'm a better mommy when we eat doughnuts for lunch. True story. I think it has something to do with the fact that the boys feel so much more generous with nice comments when we have doughnuts for lunch. That in turn makes me a nicer mommy. How could you get frustrated with anything in life when your toddlers say on the way home from Reams: "oh mom, you're the best! I can smell those yummy fudgey doughnuts!" You can't. My boys are definitely my favorite blessings in life *including jack and this new baby girl of course* I was going to add a picture of the boys in their matching red jammies the other night after their bath but I can't find the camera- remind me and I'll do it later.

So those are my two thoughts for the day: Do I avoid making that left turn now? and I'm a better mommy when we eat doughnuts for lunch.
Love
amanda

boys boys boys...

corban decided (and I say DECIDED on purpose because it was his decision) to get lost in a suzie's deals store the other day. *don't hate me for being in suzie's deals* So I promptly came home and made a double boy leash. one side for gabe and one side for corban. now my kids will be on a leash in public places without carts. no joke. I'll post pictures soon. and maybe even tell about the horrible no good day he decided to get lost. lets just say for now that combining a lost child with preggo hormones is not really the coolest thing ever. I did, however, eat my weight in chocolate after I got the boys home and into their beds. also not the coolest thing ever.

Because I need to.

I'm making a list of things I am good at. Call it positive reinforcement, or positive affirmations..whatever but I need to make this list for me.
*hair
*makeup (had to get those two out of the way to get to deeper things.)
*taking on more than I should
*not saying no- more specifically? to parties.
*going above and beyond what is asked. (example: one time in 3rd grade we were supposed to make some kind of indian dwelling...we made a full on wigwam complete with a leather patch roof, bundles of hay, and even had an animal hide (a piece of toasted Bologna) tanning in the front)
*scrapbooking- sometimes.
*stressing too much
*complaining too much
*reading to my kids- most of the time
*being silly with my kids
*being open to others' opinions and letting them share them without forcing my own on them
*not judging others- until it comes to them complaining about their current situation- then I wanna tap them on the shoulder and say: "it's your life- make it what you want it to be and stop complaining about it."
*crunching numbers- not so much at budgeting
*following my church leaders openly- without question
*having faith
*taking care of our cars
*not stressing about the spotlessness of our house (could be a bad thing, who knows?)
*listening
*sticking to my guns with my kids- I'm the mean parent. ask the boys.
*Procrastinating

K, I've listed 20 things. half of which are probably bad things and cheater things to list....I'll try again some other time when I'm being less pessimistic. I triple dog dare you to try writing your own list of 20 things you're good at. try it. it's hard to be honest about your good traits.

My life in binders:

I live out of binders these days. I'm not joking. I just realized this last night. I have more binders going than when I went to a few classes at UVU...Let me illustrate:
I've got two binders for Primary stuff- one 2" for meetings where I need all the nitty gritty info, and one 1" for just every sunday with lesson info and coming events and such. I've got a file for all my hair clientelle- lots and lots of 3X5 notecards. I've got a 2" binder for the Mary Kay info, training stuff, and product info. I also have 3 2" binders of MK samples for makeup color- I really am into trying before buying. I've got an accordian file for tax info for my two businesses. I've got a folder for client profiles for MK. I've also got a 1.5" binder for corban's Joy School lessons with all the unit info, and pictures for lessons.
I think that's it...
It almost feels like one of those young women's lessons about the different times we wear white? I just have a different binder for all the different parts of my life. I was about to say that the only thing I don't have in a binder is my family- but that's contained in a scrapbooking binder too... so there you have it. I live out of binders. Now that I've said this you'll start noticing how I always have a binder or folder with me. serious.

love
amanda

where does the time go?

I'm supposed to be doing less. I made this decision slightly before general conference and it was just re-affirmed that it was important when I heard the talk about slowing down- doing the important things and less of the non-sense. Yet I've begun a new business venture, started down a new avenue with my hair/make up skillz (doing hair and makeup for photo shoots), and found I have spent 0% of my day doing THE IMPORTANT things, and the rest of the 20 hrs I'm awake doing heaven knows what but end up feeling less fulfilled than ever before. I'm sure that there is a direct correlation between the amount of time I'm doing things that have zero importance on the grand scale and the fact that I've done nothing on the list of things that is actually important in the eternal scheme of things. My checklist may be full of checks but none of the ones that are checked off are important- none of them are bettering myself, none are family strengthening, and none are testimony building. With one exception- sometimes I am fortunate enough to do hair on someone that builds my testimony throughout the appointment as we have deep discussions of wonderful things, spiritual things, and I'm left wanting more. At that moment I should be running to read my scriptures and increasing the feeling of the spirit that I'm feeling right then, but usually it's the time that the boys are waking up from their nap and being everything but helpful (or so it seems). This week has not been my favorite. The fact that I ran out of unisom last saturday and tried to go without it didn't help the amount of rest I was getting when I'd try to go to bed and turn off my brain. The fact that I haven't spent any of my time just playing with my boys doesn't help. The fact that I haven't had time/energy to do anything that would make me feel like a better mother and wife definitely hasn't helped.

Tomorrow is Sunday. The day to rest. The day to honor the Sabbath. I'm going to make a list of important things and make sure that this upcoming week is different. I don't want to be sitting here next saturday feeling like I've had success everywhere but where it's important. I want to know I've succeeded in making my children love me more, I want to know that I've helped them learn and grow. I want to know that I've been a good wife. I want to know that I've done all I can in my primary calling. I want to know that I've helped someone in need. I want to feel better. ***And besides- doing these things that are more important eternally are usually easier on my preggo body- the hips especially enjoy sitting with my children instead of standing and walking to do other things.

(and as a random side note- if I meet one more new person that responds to my pregnant belly with a conversation like this: them-"oh is this your first?? me-"no actually it's my third, I've got two boys :)" them-"Oh my gosh! did you start having kids when you were 12??" I will kill them. promise. I can't take it anymore! Who thinks that saying something like that is an awesome thing to say?! Who the freak thinks that they have any say in whether or not I need their opinion about my family and how we're spacing our children??? Or my stinking age??? Can someone answer me? Really??? What happened to tact?)

Hello Ladies

I have a confession....I recently signed up to be a Mary Kay consultant....I know....ew right? Give me a second to explain myself please :)

Here's why I've done it:
A-I have used the products for the last several months of pregnancy and it's done **wonders** with my usually really terrible pregnancy skin. Their skin care is all non-comedogenic (which means it WILL NOT clog pores). My skin is softer and definitely feels loads healthier! Finding non-comedogenic products usually entails spending LOTS of money on skin care at a mall makeup counter-like $30 just for face wash-ummm, thanks but no thanks that's not in my budget.
B-Their prices are usually within $1 (either one dollar more or less) of my other grocery store brands that I've used in the past without having to spend the gas money to go to the store! A win win.
C-I liked the idea of having the ability to try out shades before putting any money down!!! (no more hoping you're matching it through the container and packaging pretty well while standing in walmart and having your kids try to grab nail polishes off the shelves.)
D-I had security even after I'd tried it- they guarantee ALL their products 100%- if I didn't like them I could still have options: I could try something else in exchange, or I could get my money back! Even if I'd used it all up they would have refunded it without having to jump through hoops because my consultant would do it for me! (nothing like walmart where you've got to deal with finding a receipt, being within a certain amount of time from purchasing, and having to make a walmart trip. gross right?)
E-The last several hair color appointments I've gotten questions about how to buy, apply, and pick out make up. Being that I'm already a Licensed Cosmetologist I can totally already tell you tips to do these things. Things like maximizing good features and minimizing not so good features- however I didn't have anything to show, demonstrate or sell to my clients to help them. The best I could do is point them in the direction of walmart and hope they had luck. That did not sit well with me. After all as any of you know from being a hair client of mine- I'm more than happy to try the cheap stuff to see if it will get the job done for you without breaking the bank, but I'm honest when it comes down to whether it's a good choice for your specific hair situation with finances in mind as well. I couldn't stand that I was having to tell clients to go to walmart and try to match shades as best they could, and find a brand that they wanted to try out first and move on from there. I wanted to be able to offer the ablility to SHOW my clients the right product for their face- SHOW them how to apply it correctly- Teach you how to care for your skin because after all- you only get this one face and everyone deserves to feel good in their own skin!!!
That's why I do hair- that's why I'm starting Mary Kay- Women should LOVE the way they look. They should be able to wake up in the morning knowing that they can take tools that they've learned how to use and care for their hair and skin and go out into the world feeling confident that they are beautiful, they are strong, and they can take anything that comes their way. Women are strong. Women are resilient. Women have skills that men only dream about having-you know it's true. We need to be proud to be women and we need to put our best foot forward everyday-including taking care of ourselves spiritually, mentally, and physically. Whether your morning routine is 5 minutes long or 30 minutes long- you need to be taking care of yourself first or you will be ill-equipped to take care of anyone else throughout your day. The better your self esteem is- the better you can take care of everything that women deal with in a day. If I can help one woman at a time to improve that self image, and self esteem I will keep doing what I do because that's what I thrive on.
Thanks for giving me a few minutes to explain this seemingly crazy decision. Now for the other details: I am going to start to build up an inventory to be able to give you on the spot purchasing power so when you run out of something you love you can call me and I can deliver your product that day rather than waiting a week for shipping-or you'd always be welcome to just swing by and pick it up. I also would like to offer all of you the facial class to test out the skin care that I've fallen in love with as well as trying to create a nice color look just for you- whether that means just a little tinted moisturizer to slather on and go, or whether that means looking at foundation, eye shadow colors, and cheek colors-the whole nine yards. Either way I'd be happy to show you them anytime- if you've got a cut, color, or style coming up plan on me asking if you'd like to go over some while you're already at my house- you're welcome to say yes or no! Otherwise I'd also be happy to come to your home and show you anything you'd like to try out and feel free to make it a girls night and invite some friends- the more the merrier!

Thanks agian!

Sincerely Yours,
Amanda Larsen
~increasing women's self esteem one person at a time~